At the end of 2023, something shifted within me — and nothing has been the same since. This is the story of how I encountered spirituality and began the most unexpected chapter of my life.

Yes! It all started with a tarot love reading on Youtube.

I have been single for a very long time. If I can use one word to describe my love life, it would be “nothing”. There are many times I almost feel hopeless when thinking about romance, but something in me still keeps that little flame burning.

Before I learn that, we all deserve to experience true love, I suffered a lot (and I am still working on rewiring this limiting belief until today) from feeling “not enough”: not beautiful enough, not good enough, not lovable enough,….. And because of that, love is not available for me. This feeling of “not enoughness” stems from a lot of experiences during my childhood and upbringing, and I will share about these in future posts, when I feel more comfortable.

Back to the main topic. At the end of 2023, after a long time, I decided to open my heart again to love. When I was scrolling Youtube after dinner, a video popped up on my screen. It was a tarot reading, named “Who is your future person?”. I have known about Tarot before, even had a reading with a Tarot reader a few years ago. When I think about that day again, I still cannot explain it. Usually, Youtube will recommend videos based on the algorithm, and I have never watched a similar videos/topics before. Another coincidence was that, I had a crush on someone at that time. The video was about love, and I actually resonated with a lot of information from that reading. Probably, there was no coincidence; it was just the way the Universe calls me to this spiritual path.

So I watched the video, but did not take anything seriously. From that day, more videos came up. Most of them were Tarot love readings, and mysteriously, all really resonated with my current situation. At that time, it was just a one-sided crush; the other person did not even know about my feelings. Nevertheless, those videos did help me nurture that little flame inside my heart, that I also have someone destined for me, and we will meet some day. Then, more videos came up as time went by. Not only love readings, but more Dharma talks, shorts/videos about spirituality, and channeled message from God/The Universe/The Angels. Little by little, I am more and more interested in learning about spirituality. The interesting thing was, after I learned a lesson from a video, a situation in real life happened that required me to take inspired action based on what I have learned from the video. It really like, learning the theory and then practicing it. There was one time, I needed to reject an offer from my previous PI. I wanted to reject it, but I could not say it directly to him. I used to be a people pleaser, and with the background I grew up on (a traditional Asian girl), I did not have enough courage to speak up my mind and my wish. That night, an old video reappeared, and it was about “How to say NO”. After watching, I was more confident to write an email to him, explaining that I already had my own plan and was not interested in doing that experiment. I am so grateful I did that, because that offer was actually causing more difficulties for me. This is just one example, but it made me feel that I am really watched over by a higher power, guiding and protecting me every step of the way.

Since then, my life has been through constant ups and downs, and tons of lessons learned. Now I can understand what “spiritual awakening” is. It is to be aware of everything in my life, and I do have a choice in every situation. Until today, I still receive guidance from Youtube videos. As I move forward on my path, I can also receive insights during meditation, and sometimes, from my intuition. I am still learning and integrating lots of things every day, and I can feel that I am changing for the better. I am not yet the person I want to become, but I am already the version my past self once wished for, and I am truly grateful for that. Healing is not a straight road, and it is not something that can be done in one take. I think the key is to be patient with yourself, and trust that you are divinely guided and it will all make sense one day. I know it is easier said than done, but do not give up, no matter what happens. My heart has been broken into pieces many times, but I am still here today. I know I can do it, and you can also make it through to the other side. If you already live your best life, congratulations. Appreciate it and keep doing the good work you are doing.

I hope you have a wonderful day wherever you are. Remember, you are never alone, and happiness is always there for you. Open your heart, and you will know, that it is waiting for you, and it wants to meet you just as much as you want to embrace it.